Mind kind

Posted byrjlcounselingNovember 28, 2018Posted inUncategorized

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Reasons to Stay Alive, p. 142

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It's okay. We'll deal with the responses and do the processing when we're able and ready. This time is temporary. * * **There will be an "after."** * In the meantime, I invite you to lower your expectations of yourself and others. Now lower them again. Be kind to your brain. #graceandspace #loveyourself #boundaries #bekind #loweryourexpectationsthenlowerthemagain #traumainformed

To be "in the ego" is to sit in a place of defensiveness and possession. To feel as though there's a prize waiting for you or someone else for "doing it right." Imagine scrolling through social media and seeing an old friend's pictures. Your brain goes to comparing your life to theirs, and falling short or feeling better than... Their photos are somehow a reflection of you. Gossip. Gossip is a chance to say, "Isn't he /she foolish, ridiculous, out of line, being careless (unlike ME)?" Talking about others is our chance to show how we're better, more informed, smarter... to ourselves. The ego part of the brain tells us stories all day long and we get hooked into believing them. The saying, "playing small," is appropriate here. The ego is formed in childhood and therefore is child-like. As you mature emotionally, the opportunity is to lean into listening to your ego and what it has to teach you about what belongs to you... and what doesn't. When you are free from your ego, you no longer compare. Drama and chaos no longer feed your inner dialogue of not measuring up. You stop explaining your worth to yourself. #egowork #freeyourself #graceandspace #givebackwhatisnotyours #traumainformed #getcurious #stayinyourlane #doingtheworkistheshortcut

Worthiness: - the quality of being good enough; suitability. - the quality of deserving attention and respect. You are worthy just as you are. You do not have to grovel for worthiness, for goodness, to prove yourself. #latheryourselfwithlove #nocompetitionneeded #boundariesareselfloveandotherlove #graceandspace #truthserum #traumainformed #healingispossible

Another example of the both/and. Dialectic thinking allows the brain to acknowledge both the suck and the opportunity. The goal is to get through this time, with as few major scratches as possible. Grit and grace. #youcanbecalminastorm #traumainformed #keepgoing #one3hourblockatatime #truthserumtherapist @holisticallygrace @rjlcounseling

These sit in my home office, which is now :the: office. They remind me of the both/and. This time in our world's history is both hard, complicated, distressing, chaotic, scary. And... you can use this as an opportunity to let go. Of the expectations, the shoulds, the perfectionism, the numbing out, the asking permission, the self created noise to avoid the pain, the abandonment of self. What is coming up is what has been suppressed. This is a time to come back to your goodness, your groundedness in the cradle of your own truth, your center. #wecandohardthings #letthatshitgo #truthserumtherapist #graceandspace #chooseadifferentpath #heal #thereismagicinthemessy #traumainformed #mindfulhandwashing @rjlcounseling @glennondoyle

These times call for a shift in thinking.

Can you relate? #Repost @sitwithwhit • • • • • • This is one way we can get trapped in the news cycle. We start watching it and consuming it. We want to know everything. The more informed we are the better. Informed people make good decisions, right? But then we realize we are consuming a lot. We feel like we know a lot and have some control over the situation. We also feel like we’re going to explode if we see one more clip or read one more line. So we take a break. But then we need more. It feels like an addiction. It feels like “I have to know what is going on right now or I won’t be prepared, or ready, or safe.” So we consume more media. And around and around we go. The cycle gets harder to break because we get a rush every time we engage with the news reports. We are keeping ourselves in the cycle. It creates a sense of hyper-vigilance. For those of you that have experienced trauma, hyper-vigilance may feel safe. In this space you feel like you’re on high alert. You’re protecting yourself from the enemy. The more you know about the enemy the better. The problem is, we just keep spinning around and around in this circle. It’s so hard to get off. We are constantly alternating between “I’m safe” and “no, no, no I’m not safe and I need the to know what’s going on so I can reassure myself again.” The only way we can create safety is within ourselves and the immediate world around us. We won’t find it outside right now. We have to find safety in our bodies our relationships our routines our homes our rituals The next time you find yourself engaging in this cycle, ask yourself: what am I looking for here? What do I want to feel? What do I need? Can you relate to this? I know I can!!

Today's reminder.

This experience allows for us to pay attention to how we respond to our internal messaging. #awarenessofself • • • • • • Fear + panic can bring up all of our unresolved childhood trauma. If our parents or caregivers had issues regulating their own emotions. If they couldn’t provide secure + safe bonding with us. If we learned chaos, our bodies never forget. We’ve learned people can’t be trusted + that we can’t trust the world at a vulnerable time when we couldn’t fully process our environment. On a cellular level, this conditioning doesn’t just fade. It stays with us, until we do the work to see it. Because for so many of us finances (security) are threatened, we enter our reptilian brain. Survival becomes our only concern. In this state, we are so afraid + so divided, we actually become our inner child. Afraid + desperate for a parental figure of authority, we want someone to tell us what we should do. We desperately grip to any hope for control of a situation. And, conditioned to live in this fear-based illusion, we unconsciously lash out at each other. Judge each other. Or force our reality. The same actions that were once done to us. The only thing our inner child has learned that people do when they’re afraid. But something greater is also happening here: MASSIVE COLLECTIVE HEALING. We are being called to pay attention. Forced to pause. To look at what we’ve hid from + avoided. Just as our mother did to cope. Just as her mother did. Just as every generation does: the best they can with the own level of awareness. That’s why it’s so scary to pause right now. That’s why it’s so difficult to meditate. It sucks to look. Go, go, go is a coping mechanism. And when this is the case pause feels like a true threat. I invite you to see glimpses of your true self as you pause. When you give. When you connect. When you hold space for everyone’s unique experience without the easy ego judgement, + resist forcing your own. Everything that comes up is your teacher. Observe. The collective healing happening depends on us stepping out of our conditioned habit self enough time that the mind + body return back to our natural state of loving awareness. #selfhealers

RJL Counseling, Blog at WordPress.com.

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