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Posted byrjlcounselingNovember 28, 2018Posted inUncategorized

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Posted byrjlcounselingNovember 28, 2018Posted inUncategorized

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Reasons to Stay Alive, p. 142

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During this week following Kobe Bryant's death, there are memes circling about how life is short and time with loved ones is precious. Here's a list of what life is too short for... 💜 #boundaries #selfacceptance #authenticity #relationships #boundaries #shiftinthinking #doingtheworkistheshortcut #howyouspendyourtimeishowyourtimewasspent #rjlcounseling @nedratawwab

What we know about trauma is that it changes the brain. The impact of these changes are especially exacerbated by three major brain function dysregulations: * -Overstimulated amygdala: An almond-shaped mass located deep in the brain, the amygdala is responsible for survival-related threat identification, plus tagging memories with emotion. After trauma the amygdala can get caught up in a highly alert and activated loop during which it looks for and perceives threat everywhere. * -Underactive hippocampus: An increase in the stress hormone glucocorticoid kills cells in the hippocampus, which renders it less effective in making synaptic connections necessary for memory consolidation. This interruption keeps both the body and mind stimulated in reactive mode as neither element receives the message that the threat has transformed into the past tense. We continue to perceive the threat as present. * -Ineffective variability: The constant elevation of stress hormones interferes with the body’s ability to regulate itself. The sympathetic nervous system remains highly activated leading to fatigue of the body and many of its systems, most notably the adrenal. Trauma literally exhausts the body. * The good news is that we can retrain the brain by reprocessing trauma through treatment. The amygdala can learn to relax; the hippocampus can resume proper memory consolidation; the nervous system can recommence its easy flow between reactive and restorative modes. * Recovery is possible. #doingtheworktoundothepatterns #traumainformed #healingispossible #creatingpositivechange (https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-science-behind-ptsd-symptoms-how-trauma-changes-the-brain/)

Ever look around and wonder, is there some adult around who can make this decision besides me? Is there an adultier adult, more successful at adulting? It's horrifying to realize you're expected to adult! * Here's the good news: No one knows what they're doing. We're all doing the best we can, based on the information we have at the time. You can rest assured *all adults* have at one time or another wanted someone else to figure shit out for them. How freeing! * The other good news: Inside you are all the ages you've experienced. You're both 8 and 28. You're 13 and 40. When you find people with whom you can be your 8 year old self and have a tantrum, or your hormonal 13 year old self and feel unsure of your peer group - and they support you and remind of your worth - that's where emotional safety allows your adult brain to kick in and problem solve. * #whoisadultinghere #help #airplaneoxygenmask #stayinyourlane #boundaries #shiftinthinking #youare8and28and13and40 #doingtheworktoundothepatterns #youcanonlychangeyou #empowered #truthserumtherapist #rjlcounseling

Yes yes yes yes yes. #boundariesarebadass #rjlcounseling

Keep. Moving. Forward. Sometimes it'll be three steps back and two steps forward, and then a step back and another one two forward, with a detour here and there, because forward progress isn't linear. And yours doesn't look like anyone else's, either. #stayinyourlane #doingtheworkistheshortcut #forwardwithafewdancestepsbackwardisstillforward #rjlcounseling

Springboarding off the last post about coping skills for when we feeling activated by children, it's important to examine the root causes for our reactions so we can understand what gets us there. You'll notice, children themselves aren't on this list. **Our reactions are about us, not them.** The work lies in diving deeper into how our own experiences inform what we're bringing to parenting - where our old stuff rubs up against what's happening in the present. #parentingishard #whatismystuff #boundaries #buildingawarenessofself #truthserumtherapist #alltheselfcare #patternsandhistory #traumainformed #doingtheworktoundothepatterns #oxygenmaskonyoufirst #rjlcounseling @resilientmamas

Parenting is hard. Full stop. It requires an inner resilience that often feels fleeting. We can feel inept, dissatisfied, unimportant, alone, overwhelmed, and unseen, in the midst of caring for others. The invitation is here to begin to develop skills for addressing these feelings and provide yourself space and grace to do so. Note: if you're brain defends against the idea of being "triggered" - as this word has become more mainstream and thus somewhat diluted - I invite you to consider replacing it with "activated." #parentingishard #boundaries #takeabreaktobreathe #newpatterns #airplaneoxygenmask #doingtheworkistheshortcut #thereismagicinthemessy #traumainformed #getcurious #rjlcounseling

Love this list!! Families need to tend to their members and here are some ways to do that in various categories. It's a great springboard for a family dinner conversation, too. What would you add? #relationships #caringwellforothers #routinesbuildpredictability #predictabilitybuildsemotionalsafety #familiesarenotalwaysbiological #boundaries #selfcare #familyplaydate #timetogetherbuildsemotionalresilience #rjlcounseling

Growth is a lot less linear than we expect, with more back roads and bumpy trails along the way than we'd prefer. One step in a different direction is growth. A moment of pause to consider other options is growth. Recognition of a pattern - even if it continues to be repeated out of familiarly or comfort - is growth. Patience with self through growth is growth. #acceptanceoftheprocess #onestepatatime #growthismessy #braverywinseverytime #getcurious #doingtheworkistheshortcut #thereismagicinthemessy #traumainformed #heal #truthserumtherapist #rjlcounseling

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